SURPRISE!!!

You know that moment when you think that you are done having kids.  You say no more, we are all done.  And then one day you wake up and SURPRISE! there is another baby on the way.  Yeah, that was my husband and me last August.

We kept our little surprise quiet for quite some time, due to m history of complicated pregnancies.  I was considered high risk right away, and had to be followed by a team of doctors.  We waited to tell our families until just before Christmas, when I was cleared by the specialists that everything with this pregnancy was good.

I continued to wok until I was five months pregnant.  Not long after I put in for my early maternity leave at work, my husband received a transfer letter from his job.  We had two weeks to pack up our house, get the kids school and medical records, and find new doctors in Florida.  None of which is easy when you are in your third trimester.  We sold one of our cars, and some of our other bulky furniture.  We gave our parts car to a friend of ours.  My car is sitting in our friends back yard until we have the money to tow or ship it down to Florida, and all of our other belongings are in a storage unit, that I have no clue as to where anything is or how its packed because I couldn’t help pack it.  We loaded up our minivan and m husbands car with clothes, the kids school things, a few toys, and the dogs things.  My nephew took vacation time to drive the minivan down while my husband drove his own car.

We get to Florida and get the girls all set up in their new schools.  The transition was hard for my oldest daughter, her gpa dropped some.  She mad a few friends and seems well adjusted now.  My next daughter who is also now a teen adjusted well.  She is getting lazy with her schooling though.  My seven year old adjusted the best.

Our little surprise was due April 14th.  Due to m previous complications, I was scheduled for a c-section at 37 weeks.   Our baby had other plans.  She came at 36 weeks.  We got to see her for a quick minute before the nurses whisked her away to the NICU.  Our beautiful Melanie Grace spent ten days in the NICU.  When she was a day old, she ran into more complications.  Her lung collapsed, causing her to have to have a chest tube placed, and there was talks about sending her to Miami.  Thank god they didn’t have to.  She was able to stay where she was, and quickly recovered.  She was able to come home on Easter Sunday.

So here I am, not just a mom of three girls, but now four.  It loos like I will be Mom of a Teenage Girl for a long time.

 

Pay Attention Grandparents!

Do your parents or in-laws ignore your kids, their grandchildren?  It is frustrating as a mother to watch my girls constantly get disappointed when it comes to my father-in-law.

We are not talking about the occasional, “oh, I didn’t hear you.”  We are talking about not even acknowledging them.  He was forced by my sister-in-law to come to the hospital the day that the twins were born, and that was only because one of them was not going to make it.  After that, he never came back to the hospital, never visited when we brought her home.  We still lived in the same state as him at the time.

When Amberly was 3 years old, we got her a Nabi Tablet for her birthday.  She was so excited and couldn’t wait until we went to CT to visit him for Christmas so she could show him and tell him all about her new toy.  He completely ignored her, didn’t even acknowledge her, and every time she would start talking to him, he would either start talking to someone else or get up and walk away.

The next year, my sister-in-law had her son over the summer.  My father-in-law visited with his new grandchild every day. Even purchased most of the baby’s necessities before he was born.  When we went to visit for Christmas, we figured that he would at least be happy to see our girls.  Boy was I wrong.  Once again, Amberly was completely ignored.  My oldest daughter, who was at the age of puberty at the time, had a purse with her.  All of our purses and coats were placed in my father-in-law’s bedroom.  Well his new wife hollered at my oldest daughter for going in there to get her purse.  My oldest daughter was also hollered at for gently touching her new cousin’s hand.  After dinner was over, my husband went outside with his father to have the after dinner smoke.  I immediately put the girls coats, hats, gloves on and packed up Amberly’s toys she had been playing with.  As soon as my husband walked back in the house, I said we are leaving right now, and the girls and I walked out to the car while my husband said his goodbyes to his family.  I was so furious!

This year I don’t think we are going there.  Amberly graduated Kindergarten this past spring.  I had messaged my father-in-law in facebook messenger, “Dad, we wanted to let you know that Amberly’s Kindergarten graduation is on Thursday, June 11 at 1:30.  She would love for you to come.”  I got no response, so a few days later my husband messaged him via text message.  He told my husband he had to work.  (Now, when you send an invite like that to someone who is married, it is an invite to their spouse as well, why send 2 invites to a couple, right?  Apparently wrong.)  We found out later, by another family member that he did NOT have to work, he didn’t come because his new wife did not get a separate invite.  Amberly was once again left disappointed.

All over his facebook page are photos like this one…

grandson

Nothing at all about granddaughters.

It is really sad that he behaves in this manner.  He is missing out on getting to know 3 incredible, wonderful granddaughters.

Concert; Teen Knows Best

My first concert was Oz Fest.  I was definitely not mentally prepared for I saw at that concert.

My teen is going to her first, we’ll say grown up concert.”  She’s been to concerts like Selena Gomez, but that’s a kiddie, preteen concert, and absolutely nothing like the Wiz Khalifa / Fall Out Boy concert that she will be attending today.

I tried to prepare her for what she will see, and of course because she is a teen everything I say goes in one ear and right out the other, because she knows all about how concerts really are.  I tried telling her that she will see people doing and selling drugs at this concert.  She says no mom this is not that kind of concert.  I tried telling her that people will probably sneak in weapons either knives or guns or both, and once again I was told no mom it’s not that kind of concert.  I tried informing her that there will be the occasional person walking around half naked with body paint on, and she will most likely see people making out or having sex on the field, but once again teen knows best.

It will be interesting to see what she has to say after the concert.

What was your first concert experience?  Did you let your teen attend any concerts yet, if so what was his/her experience?

Grades

As a parent, I expect my kids to do well in school.  My teen has always been a straight A student, so for her I expect nothing less than a B.  I don’t except anything less because I know that she can do it.  However, my tween is another story.

My tween has a learning disability.  We kept her back a year so that she wouldn’t be 1.5 yrs behind in school.  She has caught up quite nicely since keeping her back.  Now we expect nothing less than a C from her.

When we go her report card for the third term of this school year we were surprised.  Not in a good way either.  Her spelling grade is a 52.  Absolutely not acceptable.  We were furious!  I grounded her from all electronics and social life for the entire 4th term.  No computer, no tablet, no cell phone (except to call her dad and myself all other apps and numbers were blocked).

I was going to be nice and take a week off of her punishment if she found out what she had gotten on the last 2 spelling tests if the grades were really, really good.  That got thrown right out the window when she lied to us about a math packet she had to do.  She told me the other night that she had 1.5 pages left to do in a 14 page packet that she was given for homework.  It was the night of her band concert so I wrote a letter to her teacher asking to keep her in for recess to complete the packet.  I get a phone call from the teacher telling me that she had a week to complete it between homework and class time that was given.  She failed the packet after all that and had a lunch detention that day for antics about when the packet was given and completed.

She says she knows how important school is and getting good grades is.  I’m having a lot of trouble seeing that right now.  I would love to see her get her act together before she falls behind again.  She’s going to have a rude awakening when she gets into the middle school next school year.