Pay Attention Grandparents!

Do your parents or in-laws ignore your kids, their grandchildren?  It is frustrating as a mother to watch my girls constantly get disappointed when it comes to my father-in-law.

We are not talking about the occasional, “oh, I didn’t hear you.”  We are talking about not even acknowledging them.  He was forced by my sister-in-law to come to the hospital the day that the twins were born, and that was only because one of them was not going to make it.  After that, he never came back to the hospital, never visited when we brought her home.  We still lived in the same state as him at the time.

When Amberly was 3 years old, we got her a Nabi Tablet for her birthday.  She was so excited and couldn’t wait until we went to CT to visit him for Christmas so she could show him and tell him all about her new toy.  He completely ignored her, didn’t even acknowledge her, and every time she would start talking to him, he would either start talking to someone else or get up and walk away.

The next year, my sister-in-law had her son over the summer.  My father-in-law visited with his new grandchild every day. Even purchased most of the baby’s necessities before he was born.  When we went to visit for Christmas, we figured that he would at least be happy to see our girls.  Boy was I wrong.  Once again, Amberly was completely ignored.  My oldest daughter, who was at the age of puberty at the time, had a purse with her.  All of our purses and coats were placed in my father-in-law’s bedroom.  Well his new wife hollered at my oldest daughter for going in there to get her purse.  My oldest daughter was also hollered at for gently touching her new cousin’s hand.  After dinner was over, my husband went outside with his father to have the after dinner smoke.  I immediately put the girls coats, hats, gloves on and packed up Amberly’s toys she had been playing with.  As soon as my husband walked back in the house, I said we are leaving right now, and the girls and I walked out to the car while my husband said his goodbyes to his family.  I was so furious!

This year I don’t think we are going there.  Amberly graduated Kindergarten this past spring.  I had messaged my father-in-law in facebook messenger, “Dad, we wanted to let you know that Amberly’s Kindergarten graduation is on Thursday, June 11 at 1:30.  She would love for you to come.”  I got no response, so a few days later my husband messaged him via text message.  He told my husband he had to work.  (Now, when you send an invite like that to someone who is married, it is an invite to their spouse as well, why send 2 invites to a couple, right?  Apparently wrong.)  We found out later, by another family member that he did NOT have to work, he didn’t come because his new wife did not get a separate invite.  Amberly was once again left disappointed.

All over his facebook page are photos like this one…

grandson

Nothing at all about granddaughters.

It is really sad that he behaves in this manner.  He is missing out on getting to know 3 incredible, wonderful granddaughters.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I haven’t written to you in many years.  Just because I haven’t written, does not mean that I no longer believe in you.  I do believe.

My two older daughters wrote to you back in 2008.  It was probably the most important letter to you that they have ever written.  we, as a family, had a rough year.  It was a difficult holiday season with the loss of Arianna and Amberly still being in the NICU.

The girls wrote about the usual.  How are you and Mrs. Clause?  I would like such and such for Christmas.  They also asked you for a few things for Amberly.  She was under 3 lbs when they wrote to you.  One of the girls asked you for Amberly to get bigger so she can come home and the other asked you for a stuffed animal friend for her and her Lamby that the hospital gave her the day she was born.

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My husband and I did not mention the letter to anyone associated with the hospital.  On Christmas night, my husband and I went to see Amberly.  When we got there we found a picture of you and her.  You had given her a kitty cat beanie baby, ans some stickers.  She had also weighed in at 3 lbs Christmas morning!

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I may not write to you like I once did as a child.  You are real and I still believe.

Merry Christmas,
Mom of a Teenage Girl

First Day of Kindergarten

I was suppose to be getting two, beautiful little girls ready for their first day of kindergarten today.  I only had to get one ready for kindergarten, because the other had to leave us to be an angel.

My five year old woke up very excited this morning.  Not only was it her first day of kindergarten, but the tooth fairy came last night, because she lost her third tooth.  She ate her breakfast and drank her milk.  We went up to her room to pick out her clothes, purple pants and a pink shirt.  What would her sister have chosen to wear?  I would like to think she would have picked pink pants and a purple shirt.   

We did our hair and brushed our teeth.  It was time to get lunch packed and snack too.  Amberly had a cheese sandwich, she’s a picky eater, pudding cup, and a juice box.  What would Arianna have wanted for lunch?

We went outside to take the first day of school pictures.  Amberly did all of her crazy poses.  I wonder what Arianna’s crazy poses would be?  We waited for the bus to come.  I was sad to see that Amberly was the only kindergartner at the bus stop.  I would have been nice to see her and Arianna playing while waiting for the bus.

We met the teacher and just before we all left I noticed there was a set of identical twin girls in her class.  Then we saw another set of identical twin girls in the hallway.  I was trying so hard to hold back my tears.  It was not fair.  I should have gotten to see my identical twin girls start kindergarten today.  I feel cheated, and hurt.  I try my best to be happy for Amberly and try to make a big deal of her triumphs.  It’s just really hard sometimes, because she should be sharing them with Arianna.  I am sad for all three of us.

It’s going to be a rough school year.

Photo: First day of kindergarten @sara_slomski  @markslomski  @kallistaslomski